this is such a destructive illness
GO TO HELL< STUPID CHRISTIANS
John 17:21 That They All May Be One; As Thou, Father, Art In Me, And I In Thee, That They Also May Be One In Us: That The World May Believe That Thou Hast Sent Me.
This is the real trinity; a trinity of consciousness. Jesus is not God because...
1Jo 4:12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
Jesus was not the invisible man. People saw him.
also see 1Ti 1:17 and 1Ti 6:16
I was in the now for 8 months. Raised up within 3 days just like Jesus said he'd build a church without using hands within 3 days. People looked asleep. I was wide awake charged with energy; no worry, guilt, confusion; none of that stuff. It was beautiful. Long story short it wasn't Christ who did it. The evil one gifted me trying to snag a Christian.
Told him I hated him. His voice terrified me telling me he was going to fuck me up. Two weeks later hospitalized, no fear yet. still high. Bipolar
why didn`t you say you want my money first ? ``just be`` . dumb ass.
7.
Head through the wall kind of shit, I know, but like everything there is a process to dealing with manic behaviour. I'm slowly dealing with it now, just me and youtube lol but I just need to trust what's happening, not worry, just observe the state and direct it in a productive /creative way. Peace out.
6.
and that being the true nature of survival, and more so, of life. No plan, just pure living. Since your last message, I've had many changes, all invariable levels of balance, all intentional, challenging, and yet all the difficulty is but an interpretation and therefore changeable, improvable, a step to a higher knowledge that drives on with true intent and comes with it, a true outcome, the better now.
5.
The thought. The fear. There is no future. I'm moving forward and yet there is no future. Panic to manic. I'm in the now. I'm doing it now and life suddenly gets interesting. I no longer have one image of the future in my mind. Wow, thinking as I type, is it adjusting to the immensity of the now, the infinite amount of imagery and information that really gets the cogs spinning in spite of not being in total control of it, only existing by intention, moment to moment,...
4.
Like the arrow that flies by day, lol, the string on the bow was let go and sent the mind hurtling out of control once the job was done for the day and the arrow found itself flying by night too. Was it because had been held in this conflicted state by the future, it's illusion and yet it's convincingly doomed direction for so long and then to be let go suddenly that was too overwhelming to the control of the self.
3.
I think for me, the result was the unconcious urge to break away from those assigned duties or 'obligations' and pursue freedom while at the same time work furiously and with purpose at something I deemed worthwhile, paying no attention to the consequences of tension from this denial of future thought and yet making so much progress through the conflicting environment of sloth, indifference and misunderstanding.
"The doctors were telling me I, too, had a mental illness. I refused to believe it. I was too strong to succumb to such an illness."
Sheila
"I often have to step back and remind myself that I’m living with this condition and still experimenting with ways to manage and live with it."
Jessica Goldfinch
"My mind broke apart into a million pieces. I couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy."
Marcia
"In my early teens I began to really rebel – stealing, drinking, drugs etc. One minute I was completely hyped the next hating myself."
Jasmine
"Bipolar stories are invariably gut-wrenching litanies of loss and regret."
Sarah
"When I’m manic it feels like I just won money. It feels great. When I’m depressed, I feel like I have a draining flu that dwells in my emotions."
Candida Fink
"Manic-depression is a part of who I am, her voice is intertwined with my own; I have accepted that much."
Katherine Kizer
"My mind was a mess, a constant jumble of ideas which I couldn’t shut up."
Manoue
"I managed with some hard work and good support to get things under control, get a job and go back to college."
Anonymous
"The most important thing to have to deal with mental illness is to have at least one person who believes in you. I never had that until I met my therapist."
Anonymous
"It is sometimes very difficult to accept my husband’s emotions. Is he grumpy because he had not enough sleep or is he going down? What is normal?"
Est
"I feel useless. I used to be an active and happy person. But now all i do is want to sleep."
Noelle
"Because of bipolar disorder I have written more, drawn more, and simply made more. Because of it I care more."
Anonymous
"Normally I can get in trouble in autumn, but this year the trouble stays away and I still feel as normal as I did in the summer when the baby was born!"
Anonymous
"I can create amazing meals but wouldn't want to do it professionally, too much pressure, i get joy from taking my time, it's therapeutic too."
Fred
"I hate that feeling of "being well" I know it won't last."
Stan
"Sorry - sorry - sorry is a big part of my life, I say it every day and hate myself for what i have said or done to upset my family, friend or clients... I speak without thinking and still have not learned."
Deborah
"I think that self-harm and cyclothymia can be related. I mean, people who self-harm are usually depressed and may feel for some reason that they need to be punished."
Anonymous
"Escapism is important and nothing achieves such a medicinal self-forgetting than abandoning the self and imagining into the worlds and lives of imaginary others."
Robert
"You have to act as if you want to do daily activities. Doing daily activities give us a sense of mastery and that can help a lot with depression."
Marc
"I understand about being scared to take tablets - when they first gave them to me i was very nervous about taking them."
Samuel
"The 'real' you is a person with bipolar who is struggling but who is seeking help and support and that is something to be really proud of. None of us can say what we'd be like if we hadn't become ill - all we can do is work with what we have."
Elle
"I want people to know it gets better. Be honest with your doctors, reach out for friends and family, be your own advocate, fight for your wellness."
Amanda
"I am bipolar. My life is different. It has always been different to some extent. I am bipolar. My life is different. It has always been different to some extent."
Amy
"I quit taking the meds. A week later I saw the neurologist. The tests were inconclusive. From there I was sent to see yet another shrink. I was a mess."
Amy
"For the first time in my life I truly wanted to die. Other attempts had been cries for help."
Amy
"The thought of having a mental illness disturbed me deeply. I grieved. I cried."
Sheila
"I grew up in a family riveted with mental illness...I equated it with weakness. I grew up in a family riveted with mental illness...I equated it with weakness."
Sheila
"Still, at the core of me, was the experience of being a survivor; I had always beaten the odds. But things did not get better; they got worse."
Sheila
"I'm still walking the fine line of good day-bad day but at least I'm walking, and knowing I'm not alone."
Kim B
"My teen years were a living hell and it felt as though they were wasted with doctors appointments, consuming dozens of medications, hospitalizations , and feelings of emptiness and worthlessness."
Anonymous
"Today, I haven’t done this well in a very long while or ever. I feel as though I can finally start to live and enjoy my life."
Anonymous
"I need to take time for myself to relax and unwind. It is really helpfull for me"
Jean
"Yes, I am a bipolar person, but I must remind sometimes that I am not my illness"
Kevin
"A big part of getting better is through acceptance and acceptance alone."
Anonymous
"It takes time and is hard, but stopping meds does NOT help. Eat healthfully and exercise vigorously when you have the energy. That has worked the best for me."
Alissa
"I do not know why, but I regulate my depression because of BD by touching water, at least, whenever going swimming is not possible. Splashing water over my face and head gives me an amazing awakening and a great sense of relief."
Phoebe
"I started to notice the symptoms when I was 5. I am 18 now and ready to graduate from High School to move onto college. My best advice is keep fighting; you are worth it."
Jessica
"If you are a patient of BD you should realize that you are given more energy and potential as compared to normal people and you should use that energy positively to live a very happy and successful life."
Anonymous
"Sometimes I feel in depression, but my friends and my family member's supports me to fight against my BD."
George
"I was diagnosed 5 years ago as being bipolar. I have never stopped taking my meds. I go to work every day. Never stop taking your meds. Always go for counseling, and get help whenever and wherever you can!"
Christine
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