"After losing my temper I’d be in tears and apologise, but also had to say, ‘I can’t tell you it won’t happen again because I know it will’. I knew I was out of control."

Florence

• Take a timeout

  Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing...
  Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit. Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number.
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• Think before you speak

  In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying an...
  In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
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• Breath in, breath out

  When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calmin...
  When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga moves — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
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• Don't hold a grudge

  Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself ...
  Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.
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• Find a safe spot

  Yelling at friends or family members, slamming doors, and breaking crockery doesn't solve any problem and frequently escalates angry si...
  Yelling at friends or family members, slamming doors, and breaking crockery doesn't solve any problem and frequently escalates angry situations between people. Yet, sometimes you just need to vent. Finding a safe spot to act out your anger can relieve the majority of your stress, calming you enough to solve the real problem at hand. Go to a basement room and scream your head off! Take an empty jar to your basement and break it, (remember to sweep up when you're done). Stomp on a few aluminum cans. Throw a tennis ball at the garage wall. Buy a punching bag.
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Take someone with you

Sometimes it is helpful to take someone else with you when you visit your therapist or doctor. The other person can remind you of quest...

Sometimes it is helpful to take someone else with you when you visit your therapist or doctor. The other person can remind you of questions to ask and can make notes for you.

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Seek counsel

Therapy may be a good idea if stress leaves you feeling overwhelmed or trapped, if you worry excessively, or if you have trouble carryi...

Therapy may be a good idea if stress leaves you feeling overwhelmed or trapped, if you worry excessively, or if you have trouble carrying out daily routines or meeting responsibilities. Professional counsellors or therapists can help you identify sources of your stress and learn new coping tools

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Counting 10

Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing...

Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit.

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Tune in to your feelings

Note what makes you angry and why. Don't settle for pat explanations like "It's not fair." Ask yourself why you feel it's not fair, wha...

Note what makes you angry and why. Don't settle for pat explanations like "It's not fair." Ask yourself why you feel it's not fair, what needs to be done to make it fair, and what the best way is to bring about that change.

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Turn on the self-control

Step back and think when you begin to feel angry.. Take a minute to define what's making you angry and what you can do to solve the pro...

Step back and think when you begin to feel angry.. Take a minute to define what's making you angry and what you can do to solve the problem.

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Practice damage control

Choose the solution that gives you the most benefit with the least damage....

Choose the solution that gives you the most benefit with the least damage.

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Resolve unfinished business

If your anger turns out to be more to do with the past than the present, then consider at length how to address that before, or as well...

If your anger turns out to be more to do with the past than the present, then consider at length how to address that before, or as well as, dealing with your current situation.

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Violence doesn't solve anything

No matter how angry you are, never resort to physical violence to deal with it. It's a natural reaction to want to take your anger out ...

No matter how angry you are, never resort to physical violence to deal with it. It's a natural reaction to want to take your anger out on something physically, but getting in a fight won't resolve the problem.

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Talk it out

Anger that's held inside doesn't go away on its own; sometimes the best way to deal with anger is to talk it out....

Anger that's held inside doesn't go away on its own; sometimes the best way to deal with anger is to talk it out.

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Walk away

If there is a person or situation that makes you angry, simply stay away from them. If they've made you angry before, there's a good ch...

If there is a person or situation that makes you angry, simply stay away from them. If they've made you angry before, there's a good chance you'll get even angrier the next time, so the best way to keep the problem from escalating is to not put yourself in the position to get angry again.

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Share your feeling with someone you trust

Do not start with the person you are angry with, as that will only create a vicious cycle of unmet expectations and increase the frustr...

Do not start with the person you are angry with, as that will only create a vicious cycle of unmet expectations and increase the frustration and anger. If finding someone you trust is an issue, find a life coach. Privacy is essential when sharing anger.

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Use any form of art to express yourself

Dance, sing, play a musical instrument, draw, and sculpture, write…...

Dance, sing, play a musical instrument, draw, and sculpture, write…

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Find an engaging hobby

Hobbies keep us busy and focused. Find something that will keep your mind off the things you are unhappy about....

Hobbies keep us busy and focused. Find something that will keep your mind off the things you are unhappy about.

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Do any form of sport you like

Getting your energy up will flood your body with good, healing chemicals that will ease your anxiety....

Getting your energy up will flood your body with good, healing chemicals that will ease your anxiety.

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Meditate

It brings lots of creativity into our life. There is much bliss in meditation. There are moments in meditation that are simply divine. ...

It brings lots of creativity into our life. There is much bliss in meditation. There are moments in meditation that are simply divine. I recommend meditation to everyone and, by the way, any form of meditation will do. I get lot of answers during meditation and it helps me relieve anger.

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Learn ‘thought stopping’

This is useful when you continue to go over and over a particular episode that caused you to feel angry. Consciously stop yourself thin...

This is useful when you continue to go over and over a particular episode that caused you to feel angry. Consciously stop yourself thinking those thoughts, by saying and thinking ‘STOP’ to yourself.

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Change your thinking

Thoughts such as ‘never’, ‘always’, ‘must’, ‘have to’ are not realistic and are not helpful. You put a lot of burden on...

Thoughts such as ‘never’, ‘always’, ‘must’, ‘have to’ are not realistic and are not helpful. You put a lot of burden on yourself and others when you think this way. Challenge these thoughts and construct more realistic alternatives.

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Don't trust your judgment when angry

Anger magnifies and amplifies only the negative aspects of an issue, distorting realistic appraisal....

Anger magnifies and amplifies only the negative aspects of an issue, distorting realistic appraisal.

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Focus on improving and repairing rather than blaming

It's hard to stay angry without blaming and it's harder to blame when focused on repairing and improving....

It's hard to stay angry without blaming and it's harder to blame when focused on repairing and improving.

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Looking deeply

If you see that you bear responsibility for angering the person, you will accept that your own misconduct contributed to their anger an...

If you see that you bear responsibility for angering the person, you will accept that your own misconduct contributed to their anger and will not get angry in return.

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Stay Calm

People are caught in their suffering as if they are caught in a house on fire. When you understand the source of your suffering it can ...

People are caught in their suffering as if they are caught in a house on fire. When you understand the source of your suffering it can no longer bind you. If someone is angry at you, you can get angry back at them but that will only create more suffering. If you follow the way of cultivating awareness, you will not react with anger.

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Take Care

If the love within your mind is lost and you see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education or material co...

If the love within your mind is lost and you see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education or material comfort you have, only suffering and confusion will ensue.

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Your mind is like a fertile field

Everything we see, hear, and feel, plants a seed in our store consciousness. When the conditions are ripe the seeds germinate. If we pl...

Everything we see, hear, and feel, plants a seed in our store consciousness. When the conditions are ripe the seeds germinate. If we plants cactuses then cactuses is what will grow and it will be cactuses what we experience. If we plant sun flowers then this is what will grow. You are the farmer of your mind.

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Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the ...

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything, and might only make it worse.

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Stick with "I" statments

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectf...

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you ..." instead of, "You never do ..."

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Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse....

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

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Acceptance

Accept that you do not always have to be right. Learn acceptance of yourself and others....

Accept that you do not always have to be right. Learn acceptance of yourself and others.

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Once you are calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs ...

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

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Exercise

Reduce your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. This in turn should help you control your anger when you need to....

Reduce your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. This in turn should help you control your anger when you need to.

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Look after yourself

Make time to relax regularly, and ensure your body is healthy and balanced. Get enough sleep and avoid drugs and alcohol because they a...

Make time to relax regularly, and ensure your body is healthy and balanced. Get enough sleep and avoid drugs and alcohol because they are likely to make the problem worse.

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Get creative

Writing, making music, dancing or painting can release tension and help reduce feelings of anger....

Writing, making music, dancing or painting can release tension and help reduce feelings of anger.

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Talk about it

Discussing your feelings with a friend, particularly one who isn’t involved in any anger situations, can be useful, and can help you ...

Discussing your feelings with a friend, particularly one who isn’t involved in any anger situations, can be useful, and can help you get a different perspective on the situation.

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Look at the way you think

“Try to let go of any unhelpful ways of thinking,” says Isabel. “Thoughts such as ‘It’s not fair,’ or ‘People like that s...

“Try to let go of any unhelpful ways of thinking,” says Isabel. “Thoughts such as ‘It’s not fair,’ or ‘People like that shouldn’t be on the roads,’ can make anger worse.”

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Recognise your anger signs

Your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly, preparing you for action. You might also notice other signs, such as tension in y...

Your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly, preparing you for action. You might also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or clenching your fists. "If you notice these signs, get out of the situation if you’ve got a history of losing control,” says Isabel.

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Keep your perspective

Every person has an anger button. Some parents are so anger prone that when they explode the family dog hides. Divide your children's "...

Every person has an anger button. Some parents are so anger prone that when they explode the family dog hides. Divide your children's "misbehaviors" into smallies (nuisances and annoyances) which are not worth the wear and tear of getting angry about, and biggies (hurting self, others, and property) which demand a response, for your own sake and your child's.

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