How-to-stop-worrying.-Ask-yourself-if-the-problem-is-solvable

How to stop worrying. Ask yourself if the problem is solvable

Research shows that while you are worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you are getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.

Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you are no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.

Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries

If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

Is the problem something you are currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?
If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?
Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?

Productive, solvable worries are those you can take action on right away. For example, if you are worried about your bills, you could call your creditors to see about flexible payment options. Unproductive, unsolvable worries are those for which there is no corresponding action. “What if I get cancer someday?” or “What if my kid gets into an accident?”

If the worry is solvable, start brainstorming. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Try not to get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control. After you have evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you will feel much less worried.

Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry is not something you can solve? If you are a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, it is important to tune into your emotions.

Worrying helps you avoid unpleasant emotions. Worrying keeps you in your head, thinking about how to solve problems rather than allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions. But you can not worry your emotions away. While you are worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, the tension, the stress and the anxiety bounces back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings, “What is wrong with me? I should not feel this way!”

The only way out of this vicious cycle is by learning to embrace your feelings. This may seem scary at first because of negative beliefs you have about emotions. For example, you may believe that you should always be rational and in control, that your feelings should always make sense, or that you should not feel certain emotions, such as fear or anger.

The truth is that emotions—like life—are messy. They do not always make sense and they are not always pleasant. But as long as you can accept your feelings as part of being human, you will be able to experience them without becoming overwhelmed and learn how to use them to your advantage.

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The Have I Got A Problem website is a free online resource to help people better understand any issues or concerns they may have about mental health or addiction. The website includes resources specifically focused to; general Mental Health, Depression, Stress, Anxiety, Insecurities, Self-harm Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anger Management, Eating Disorders, Coping, general Addiction, Alcohol, Smoking, Gambling, Drugs, Cocaine, Heroin, Marijuana (Cannabis) Ecstasy, PCP, Mephedrone, Ketamine & Crystal Meth.

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Quotes

"Many people have a sense of impending disaster, and think they're going to faint, lose control or even die. You need to tell yourself that this is not going to happen and the symptoms you're experiencing are caused by anxiety"

Prof Paul Salkovskis

"As my symptoms got worse and my panic attacks more frequent, I became frustrated, withdrawn, and depressed. Before it was all over it nearly cost me my job, my marriage, my friends, and my sanity."

Bill Burniece

"I remember getting so nervous that I would have to leave class and go to the counselor’s office."

Stacy Gregg

"Feeling intense shame and a nagging fear that people would think my attacks were all in my head, I decided to hide my symptoms from even my closest friends and family."

Holly Kammier

"I still felt horrible and had intrusive thoughts often, but I would always play with them in my head by changing them into funny scenes."

Linda

"The worst part was I never knew when or where the next panic attack would occur."

Bill Burniece

"One thing I have learned about anxiety is that if you aren’t vigilant it will take over your life."

Korol

"The rewards of trying, whether I succeed or not, are always better than letting my worries run my life."

Janine

"I find that some of my anxiety is very "situational". In those situations I have to keep mentally calm and try to stop my mind running away with itself."

Mirty

"Don't want to go to bed because I don't want to get up."

Rachael

"My anxiety and voices makes it impossible for me to stand university. I tried going to real uni and had to go to the online program because I couldn't stand it."

Niniane

"I tried relying on medication alone to battle my anxiety and that did not work. I had to get to the heart of the matter and then work through it."

Raina

"At the root of my anxiety was a lot of fear because of unresolved issues from my past so i had to address them."

Raina

"I just want to be open and active, and not care what people think, but it seems like the more I try, the more I end up failing."

Anonymous

"Weird breathing as if I am breathing but something is restricting the oxygen, it never feels like my brain is refreshed or an ice cold blast to my chest."

Chris

"It is the trouble that never comes that causes the loss of sleep."

Austin

"I was wondering, though, does anyone relate to me, or understand me, when I say sometimes I just worry that this is me. That my dark times, my worries, my anxious feelings, my low moods, is all just me, that is just part of life, and so there is nothing t"

Harry

"It can get better and I also had a few good, relatively anxiety free years."

Annie

"Accept that illness makes your anxiety worse and that once you are feeling better you will continue along the path to recovery."

Jane

"I’m in a bad place at the moment, and although I don’t believe things will ever change, they will. Nothing stays the same forever."

David

"Talking is very important, it takes so much pressure away even if it doesn’t feel like at first."

Anonymous

"I try to relax and not worry about these things, but sometimes the anxiety can become overwhelming and I end up losing the plot."

Matt

"I think I've had the opposite thing with work, as generally it gives me something else to think about other than anxiety. I'm much worse if I have nothing to do."

Albert

"I find work makes my anxiety worse in a couple of ways. Firstly, because when I'm at work I am away from my home which is "safe" and I feel scared that something bad may happen."

Robert

"I get into a job and for the first few months its fine, then I start getting very anxious - usually about colleagues so want to move on and see if it's better elsewhere."

Mary

"Respect us for coping with such a difficult and life changing experience. Learn from us."

"Learning to accept who we are is the first step to recovery, trying to rid ourselves of discomfort and distress only serves to increase it."

Megan

"Anxiety never stops you doing anything. That is always your choice! I chose to live my life and take it with me."

Willy

"A lot of anxiety and fear is down to habits and beliefs, thankfully these can be changed, a new attitude and outlook is key."

Peter

"When you do something new and you did not feel too great, see it as a victory that you did it and not a failure that it didn't go too well."

Antonio

"Each time you refuse to do something, your mind and body will get used to the situation and your reactions will weaken. If you want your life back you have to live it!"

Anonymous

"With anxiety we have far more imaginary worries than real ones."

Ron

"If anxiety tried to stop me doing something, I would do it even more to show it who was in charge."

Gemma

"Don’t keep endlessly looking for a cure to your anxiety, create one by no longer letting it rule what you do and don’t do."

Anonymous

"Sometimes, anxiety is like quicksand, the harder we struggle to escape, the deeper we sink."

Rose Mary

"The thing about anxiety is, it can take on a life of its own. Everything becomes a potential crisis. The unthinkable has happened. So around every corner, there's the next possible disaster."

Linda Andrews, MD

"If it's not one thing, it's another. You're procrastinating to the point that you're almost afraid to take a step. You're so nervous about going to your child's school to talk to the teacher, you just don't go -- you miss the appointment."

Ross

"Separate out the real risks and dangers that a situation presents and those your imagination is making worse"

Ross

"You may be on autopilot for several weeks. If you're depressed, that can complicate things. In the case of divorce, it may take months to years to really get back to yourself."

Ross

"If you're doing well in one aspect of your life -- in your work or your relationships -- you're probably on your way. Fear and anxiety are no longer running your life."

Ross

"I was just always panicking. Every time I did anything I was thinking "what happens if this ends in total disaster?""

Neville

"The difficulty comes in learning to tone down that automatic response -- to think, 'How serious is the danger? How likely is the threat?"

Linda Andrews, MD

"The most important thing: to realize when you've done everything you can, that you need to move forward"

Ross

"When things are bad, there is a legitimate reason to feel bad. But if you don't deal with it, you're going to lose more than just a job"

Linda Andrews, MD

"After all the emotional trauma, friends lost, relationships ruined, job lost, and not finishing my degree, I decided I never wanted to go through anything like that again"

Amanda

"No one should have to feel shamed for a biochemical imbalance of any sort."

Amanda

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