Addiction - COCAINE - Cocaine-Anonymous-Jacqueline’s-Story

Cocaine Anonymous - Jacqueline’s Story

Cocaine Anonymous - Jacqueline’s Story

My name is Jacqueline and I am a recovering addict. I got to the fellowship of Cocaine Anonymous three years ago as I knew I had serious problems with my drug use and in my life, however, I did not stay and now know that I wanted the problems that drugs were causing in my life to be taken away but not my drugs! The carnage and destruction I caused to myself and others until I got back to the rooms of CA via a treatment centre 2 years later proved to me that addiction only gets worse never better.

Today thanks to CA, people at meetings and the 12 step program I live a life beyond my wildest dreams alcohol and drug free one day at a time.

Drugs were always in my life, I had an accident aged 11 and abused prescribed medication throughout my teenage years. At secondary school I took acid regularly and drank alcohol. When I passed my driving test at 17 I started abusing amphetamines, I lost my 1st good job after falling asleep in the toilet after a week long bender.

I got involved in the club scene, working and partying as well as holding down a full time job, training at college and throughout all of my twenties did not think I had a problem despite the fact I could not leave the house without being stoned, I used to criticise people that did not live the way that I did. I always thought, work hard, party hard. – that was the way I lived and I did not have a problem.

Cocaine and Crack became a daily habit, and by the time I was 31 I still thought I was OK as I usually made it to my work. I was self employed, I lied, cheated and stole from clients, partners, family, and friends to fund my habit, until eventually I was a paranoid wreck sitting at home alone smoking crack, taking cocaine and dabbling with heroin, it took a further 4 years of this before my health started to deteriorate badly and then I realised that I did not have a life and had lost EVERYTHING that was important to me, relationships, material possessions, financial gains, jobs EVERYTHING I cared about including myself.

Eventually I admitted defeat, I believe I had a spiritual awakening when a friend took me on holiday and when sitting on a hilltop I burst out crying announcing that I did not want to die. I got admitted to a treatment centre and spent 6 months there, afraid, lonely and very confused. I did not know who I was, what I was, where I was. I had the same feelings when I left that treatment centre but thanks to the people in the rooms of CA who loved me until I could love myself I am now 18 months away from my last drink or drug and that is a miracle, there is a life beyond addiction and it is beyond my wildest dreams. I am glad to be clean and sober and have so much gratitude to feel reborn and no longer a slave to a mind altering substance.

View as PDF

Back

The Have I Got A Problem website is a free online resource to help people better understand any issues or concerns they may have about mental health or addiction. The website includes resources specifically focused to; general Mental Health, Depression, Stress, Anxiety, Insecurities, Self-harm Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anger Management, Eating Disorders, Coping, general Addiction, Alcohol, Smoking, Gambling, Drugs, Cocaine, Heroin, Marijuana (Cannabis) Ecstasy, PCP, Mephedrone, Ketamine & Crystal Meth.

The site was created to give the public information to help them understand mental health and addiction issues and to assist people in making better informed decisions about their life and personal choices.

www.haveigotaproblem.com was created and is run by 'Advising Communities’, which is a UK registered charity (Charity No. 1061055)

Quotes

"I was a prisoner to it until I broke free of the hold cocaine had on me."

Abdul

"I want to stop myself from doing drugs before it's too late. I want to get clean and turn my life around before I start taking harder drugs."

Mia-louise

"I want to stop myself from doing drugs before it's too late. I want to get clean and turn my life around before I start taking harder drugs."

Mia-louise

"I hate cocaine for taking over my life, and myself for continuing to let it rule me."

Oliver

"Losing job after job, trying to quit, out of control, hiding my habit, more guilt, more drugs, losing all self-respect, my morals going down the drain, doing whatever I had to do just to get high. How glamorous did coke look now?"

Shannon

"I am a recovering cocaine addict and I have been clean and sober for over 5 years. Getting clean and staying clean have been the hardest thing I've ever done. It's also been the best thing I've done for myself and family"

Steve L.

"Smoking crack cocaine will destroy everything you have ever thought, felt, desired, loved and believed in. Crack cocaine goes as far as destroying your life completely, along with anyone willing to come close enough to the stench created by smoking crack"

Todd

"I don't miss the fact that now when my lips move it is more than likely I am actually telling the truth."

Jane S

"I don't miss the fear that arose when I'm driving my car every time a police car hovers into view."

Steven

"My lowest point was when I realised I was stealing money from my daughters Christmas presents to fund my habit."

P. Gomez

"That's what made me think of stopping my drug habits - My Blood pressure spiked at 200/110 last week during a Panic Attack."

Maria

"Anyone being faced with the reality that their addiction needs to be conquered and their life will change is going to be scared."

Fatima

"You need to realize that the little voice in your head telling you to use is your own."

Maya

"Find out why you use, find out your triggers, and take it day by day. Any day clean is better than any day you’ve been high."

Ivan

"My goal in life wasn't living...it was getting high. I was falling in a downward spiral towards a point of no return"

John

"I ended up homeless and on the streets, living and sleeping in a cardboard box, begging and struggling to find ways to get my next meal."

Ben

"Now I see how important it is for me to be in control of every part of me. Today my body is being controlled by me. I am in the driver’s seat, and I’m driving with happiness."

Nathan

"Little did I know that my mom was upstairs crying every night that I came home late, crying because she was scared for my survival."

Nick

"Morbid, depressed – deep down ashamed – so I became addicted to cocaine."

Janet

"There is no such thing as a happy ending to cocaine addiction stories. They all end badly."

Karl

"The only good part to a cocaine addiction story is the part where the addict stops the drug."

Elle

"Every cocaine user has an upsetting story but i believe we can delete those pages in our book of life and re-write the future ones."

Neil

"I thought cocaine was the most glamorous thing on the face of the planet, even though I was doing it in some rundown, cockroach-filled apartments with some guy who was just living off nothing."

Joe

"I woke up so sick, my fingers turned blue, my lips turned blue. I went to the hospital. They asked me if I did drugs, I said no. They believed me. I was 15."

Christine

"I had to use just to feel okay. Wherever I went anywhere I had to first get high."

Josh

"I had to use just to feel okay. Wherever I went anywhere I had to first get high."

Josh

"I lied, cheated and stole from clients, partners, family, and friends to fund my habit."

Jacqueline

"I am scared to loose my family, my home, and my beautiful girlfriend because of cocaine."

Javonta

"It all came crashing down on me. Someone came along and took my boyfriend, my ex took our daughter, the bank took the house. No one took me."

Jane

"Because of cocaine, I am the girl who sells dreams in a gentlemen's club, where you never actually meet 'gentleman' just bunch of horny guys. I am that girl who I never wanted to become."

Scarlett

"The drugs have broken down my mind, and my body's ability to regulate my emotions, so when I crash, I crash HARD and I want to die. So, are those few hours of pleasure worth the consequences? Not really."

Kate

"I had sex with guys and girls for drugs. I slept with people for just because. I want to stop I am trying to stop. I want my life back."

Reia

"Like in a movie i want to move on from that scene where everyone i care for feels disappointed and sad as they watch me throw away my life in senseless drugs and self destruction, if i could only catch a glimpse of the next act."

Sean

"I have always been envied for having the best self control. I have been able to smoke cigarettes only when drinking for over 10 years and never became a smoker. But cocaine is different, at least for me."

Katheleen

"If it was unavailable or I had no more sources of money, quitting cocaine would be a relatively simple and fairly painless exercise. But one thing I can say for sure about the thralls of a binge, is that as long as you can get it, you will. Even if it lea"

Akmir

"Don't do Coke, it's not worth it. I've seen people spend lots of money and throw away their lives for it. It's just not worth it."

Chelsea

"I’ll do half a gram and have him sell the other one and a half. I would make my money back and that would be the end of it. Naively, I trusted him. That was my first mistake."

Steve

"I spent every minute sniffing, not wanting to waste any of the intoxicating drug. My paranoia was getting worse; I became increasingly on edge."

Steve

"I didn’t know whether I had been sleeping or had gone unconscious. When I woke up, my girlfriend was on the phone with the paramedics."

Steve

"I was rushed to the hospital, hooked up to IVs and given two shots of Ativan. My heart rate was well over 200 and my blood pressure was in the 180s."

Steve

"I made the choice to learn from my experience and take control of my life. If my life was going to turn around, it was going to be up to me."

Steve

"You stick that pipe in your mouth and that’s where you go. Straight to hell."

Jane

"I wanted to stop, so why couldn’t I? What was up with that? Denial, addiction’s long shadow, is vital to the addict’s psyche."

Jane

"Of course, it all came crashing down on me. Someone came along and took my boyfriend, my ex took our daughter, the bank took the house. No one took me."

Jane

"I got admitted to a treatment centre and spent 6 months there, afraid, lonely and very confused. I did not know who I was, what I was, where I was."

Jane

"When I took cocaine I felt like I was a big shot and that somehow just by taking this drug I would be better at everything and better than everyone else too."

Steven

"Try and find a new hobby, something to occupy your mind, because, if you're sitting around bored, the chances are you’ll start thinking about cocaine."

Carl

"My friends are driving me crazy and I lost my job. Last night a friend offered me heroin and I actually considered it... that was my wake up call."

Dale

"I can tell you this, though. There is NO way to 'control' an addiction. Not even remotely possible. You need to stop."

Marion

"I had my sun glasses on all the time. I wanted to hide from the world. I started hating myself for what I do and how I feel inside."

Anthony

"I learned to deal with difficulties in my daily living rather than escape to use cocaine."

Julie

"I had lots of people who invited me to parties, get high and forget my responsibilities. Cocaine was around me and always accessible. But today I can say, I LEARNED MY LESSON! I appreciate that police officer who pulled me over. He saved my life."

Stan

"I have learned that life is not perfect and we all make mistakes. Now I know that I can use my mistakes as LESSONS IN LIFE, LEARND FROM THEM, AND MOVE FORWARD. I accept that life is a chaos, and the only thing I can change is my view on life and I can cho"

Bertrand

"Although my body was somewhat healthy, my mind and soul were in shambles. The negative habits that I had formed through my life and intensified over that two year period were still there. This created me huge problems both n my professional and personal l"

Ray

"I put my family through hell, stole money from home, ignored their concerns, disregarded their opinions and I did not care about my own life or others'."

Fred

"I remember being on a five-day binge and my daughter was hungry and tried to make a sandwich for my son. All I had in the house was a moldy onion and moldy bread. I hit my daughter because I did not want her to eat it."

Tanya

More Send us your Quotes

Tips & Hints

Drugs Decide to make a change
For many people struggling with addiction, the biggest and toughest step toward recovery is deciding to make a change. It’s normal to...
For many people struggling with addiction, the biggest and toughest step toward recovery is deciding to make a change. It’s normal to feel conflicted about giving up your drug of choice, even when you realize it’s causing problems in your life. Committing to sobriety involves changing many things, including the way you deal with stress, who you allow in your life, what you do in your free time and how you think about yourself.
More
Reach out for support
Don’t try to go it alone. Whatever treatment approach you choose, having a solid support system is essential. The more positive influ...
Don’t try to go it alone. Whatever treatment approach you choose, having a solid support system is essential. The more positive influences you have in your life, the better your chances for recovery. Recovering from drug addiction isn’t easy, but with people you can turn to for encouragement, guidance, and a listening ear, it’s a little easier.
More
Keep triggers and cravings in check
While getting sober from drugs is an important first step, it’s only the beginning of the recovery process. Once sober, the brain nee...
While getting sober from drugs is an important first step, it’s only the beginning of the recovery process. Once sober, the brain needs time to recover and rebuild connections that have changed while addicted. During this time, drug cravings can be intense. You can support your continued sobriety by making a conscious effort to avoid people, places, and situations that trigger the urge to use.
More
Look for help
There are many groups and organizations available to help you overcome your addiction. Once you have set your mind to beating your addi...
There are many groups and organizations available to help you overcome your addiction. Once you have set your mind to beating your addiction you can seek help from one of the groups to help you accomplish your goal. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, or Debtors Anonymous are trained to work with you to successfully beat your addiction. They are a mentor, a crutch, and a friend in a time of need.
More
Make a life change
The first step to fighting addiction is to make a decision that it is time to make a life change. That life change will reflect your de...
The first step to fighting addiction is to make a decision that it is time to make a life change. That life change will reflect your desire to quit your addiction. Your life change may require one or many changes be made to accomplish your goal.
More

Keep a list of reasons to stay clean

This will continually remind you of why you desire to become clean. It will motivate you to continue through the urges, and give you go...

Have an accountability partner

Having someone whom you can look up to and to communicate with daily, will give you strength. It will not only make you more confident...

Get new friends

Do not go around old friends which could entice you back into old habits. Cultivate new friends with new ideals to broaden your mind an...

Stay away from the old environment

Your old environment will definitely be detrimental to your progress. Old haunts will be just that "haunts". Old environments will hau...

Cultivate a new environment

By cultivating a new environment as you abandon your old, it will broaden your outlook. With the change of environment, you should natu...

Learn a new occupation

Now is the prime time to learn a new occupation, or to further your education so that you can gain confidence and also an income to sup...

Stay busy

Find an activity or hobby to become engrossed in, occupying your time will mean that you do not have time to dwell on your old habits. ...

Don't Use Cocaine to Avoid Withdrawal

Cocaine is well known for the "crash" that happens after coming down from the cocaine high. This unpleasant state is marked by physica...

Avoid Bingeing

Cocaine users can find themselves taking the drug multiple times in one session -- this is known as a cocaine binge. The half-life of c...

Stop using any other substances

This includes alcohol, marijuana, heroin and prescription painkillers such as Oxycodon or Vicodin. Prescribed pills, such as Xanax, fal...

Be prepared for the withdrawal symptoms

The initial symptoms include: depression, anxiety, tiredness and moodiness. Once you have been clean for a few weeks another phase of w...

Begin Support Meetings

Attending meetings with peers who are experiencing similar addiction struggles can offer information, fellowship and support. Cocaine A...

Get Help From Literature

The books Alcoholics Anonymous (the "Big Book") and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the "Twelve and Twelve") of Alcoholics Anonymou...

Recognize cravings as they are happening

Acceptable as a normal part of Recovery but do not give into them. Learn to deal with them constructively so they will dissipate and no...

Exercise

is one of the best ways of beating cravings. Just make sure you don’t exercise too much (there is such a thing!) because you may end ...

Cravings

remember that these are natural but temporary. You can get through them and you can kick the habit. Ride out the wave rather than givin...

Withdrawal depression

Before you quit, think up some non-drug ways of cheering yourself up when you’re experiencing withdrawal depression. While they’re ...

Mood swings

may be a symptom of substance-induced mood disorder, or you may have had a mood disorder which was masked by your addiction. If you thi...

Withdrawal Fatigue

This is exhausting, and the mistake many people make is to try and continue life at its normal pace, and fail in the process. Allow you...

Withdrawal insomnia

to combat this, develop a good routine of going to bed and getting up at the same time every day. Avoid self-medicating with over-the-c...

Despite my best intentions to improve my life, I had a highly addictive personality. I would often drink 5-6 times a week and smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.

Steve...

Withdrawal can be dangerous

...and even deadly. Please, consult a medical professional before detoxing!...

Begin Today

Depending on your use and cravings, you can start with an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting where you are likely to get some good suppor...

It gets easier after the first week

Breaking the binge/crash cycle is the hard part. The extreme craving that occurs after the crash begins to decrease after 3-4 days, so ...

Remember Cravings Are Time-limited

The ninth step is to remember that most craving is time limited to two or three hours. If you can use the previous eight steps to get ...

Find some herbs that make it easier

As well as making sure that you stick to a good diet and to drink plenty of water (which eases the process of quitting cocaine) you’l...

Don't trust the Euphoric Recall

Euphoric recall is a way in which cocaine addicts "romance the high" by remembering and exaggerating the pleasurable experiences of pas...

Don't block the good signs: Awfulizing Abstinence

When addicts awfulize abstinence, they notice all of the negatives and exaggerate them while blocking out all of the positive aspects o...

Stop Magical Thinking

Magical thinking about use is the belief that using cocaine or other drugs will solve all of their problems. This magical thinking is ...

More Tips & Hints

Cocaine Anonymous - Jacqueline’s Story

Downloads

Web Resources

Quotes

Tips & Hints

Drugs Decide to make a change

Reach out for support

Keep triggers and cravings in check

Look for help

Make a life change

Keep a list of reasons to stay clean

Have an accountability partner

Get new friends

Stay away from the old environment

Cultivate a new environment

Learn a new occupation

Stay busy

Don't Use Cocaine to Avoid Withdrawal

Avoid Bingeing

Stop using any other substances

Be prepared for the withdrawal symptoms

Begin Support Meetings

Get Help From Literature

Recognize cravings as they are happening

Exercise

Cravings

Withdrawal depression

Mood swings

Withdrawal Fatigue

Withdrawal insomnia

Despite my best intentions to improve my life, I had a highly addictive personality. I would often drink 5-6 times a week and smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.

Withdrawal can be dangerous

Begin Today

It gets easier after the first week

Remember Cravings Are Time-limited

Find some herbs that make it easier

Don't trust the Euphoric Recall

Don't block the good signs: Awfulizing Abstinence

Stop Magical Thinking

Popular Tags