5 things you need to know about coping with anger


1. What Lights the Fuse

Anger is a natural reaction to any person or situation that makes you feel slighted, offended or wronged. Your face gets flushed, your hands clench, the blood in your veins feels hot and you find yourself fighting the urge to yell or hit something. Whether you have a short temper or a long fuse, it's important to try to pinpoint the source of your anger to know how to deal with that person, setting or situation. Coping with anger is easier when you understand exactly why you feel angry.


2. Sweat the Anger Away

Exercise is a great way to get rid of the angry energy inside you. Convert the anger in your head into physical activity to be productive and avoid a fight. Go for a long run or bike ride to be by yourself until you calm down; hit the gym and take your frustration out on a punching bag or martial arts sparring partner. Using exercise as an outlet for anger can help you deal with your feelings and stay in shape at the same time.


3. Walk Away

If there is a person or situation that makes you angry, simply stay away from them. If they've made you angry before, there's a good chance you'll get even angrier the next time, so the best way to keep the problem from escalating is to not put yourself in the position to get angry again. Avoid confrontation by staying away from the setting or situation; if the source of your anger is a person, try to only be around them when other people are present who can help calm down a tense meeting.


4. Talk It Out

Anger that's held inside doesn't go away on its own; sometimes the best way to deal with anger is to talk it out. Consider mediation as a means to release your anger and let your feelings be known. Discuss the problem with the person you're angry at once you've both had a chance to calm down; enlist the help of an unbiased mediator to help keep the talk civilized if necessary. Use a stopwatch to take turns speaking for a minute each. This will help keep both of you on topic and reduce the chance of a rant or outburst.


5. Violence Doesn't Solve Anything

No matter how angry you are, never resort to physical violence to deal with it. It's a natural reaction to want to take your anger out on something physically, but getting in a fight won't resolve the problem. It could result in one or both of you getting hurt or arrested, which will probably just make you angrier. So if you get the urge to solve the problem with your fists, take a deep breath and find a more mature and peaceful way to deal with your anger.

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"Trying to find a solution to stop the anger is foolishness because anger is a result. The result cannot be changed. It is the cause which one needs to change."


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