"I never want to make someone feel the way people make me feel, so I don't say anything. I keep everything to myself and then it builds up. I explode and then start cutting."

Susan

• Trust in someone

  If you’re ready to seek help for cutting or self-harm, the first step is being willing to confide in another person. It can be scary ...
  If you’re ready to seek help for cutting or self-harm, the first step is being willing to confide in another person. It can be scary to talk about the very thing you have worked so hard to hide, but it can also be a huge relief to finally let go of your secret and share what you’re going through.
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• Figure out what your self-harm triggers are

  Self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain. What feelings make you want to cut or hurt yourself? Whether it is sadnes...
  Self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain. What feelings make you want to cut or hurt yourself? Whether it is sadness, anger, shame, loneliness, guilt or emptiness, once you learn to recognise which feelings trigger your need to self-injure, you can start developing healthier alternatives.
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• Discover your feelings

  Having a hard time pinpointing exactly which feelings trigger your urge to self-harm? You may need to work on your emotional awareness....
  Having a hard time pinpointing exactly which feelings trigger your urge to self-harm? You may need to work on your emotional awareness. Emotional awareness means knowing what you are feeling and why. It’s the ability to identify and express what you are feeling from moment to moment and to understand the connection between your feelings and your actions. The idea of paying attention to your feelings rather than numbing them or releasing them through self-harm, may sound frightening to you. You may be afraid that you’ll get overwhelmed or be stuck with the pain. But the truth is that emotions quickly come and go if you let them. If you don’t try to fight, judge, or beat yourself up over the feeling, you’ll find that it soon fades, and is replaced by another emotion. It’s only when you obsess over the feeling that it persists.
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• Look for new ways of coping

  Self-harm is your way of dealing with feelings and difficult situations. So if you’re going to stop, you need to put alternative ways...
  Self-harm is your way of dealing with feelings and difficult situations. So if you’re going to stop, you need to put alternative ways of coping in place so that you can respond differently when you start to feel like cutting or hurting yourself. For instance, express your feelings in a journal or listen to calming music, etc.
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• Build self-esteem

  Build self-esteem via positive affirmations. Write down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), taking ...
  Build self-esteem via positive affirmations. Write down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), taking up a meaningful hobby or do some volunteering. Also educate yourself on self-harm, and learn this is not your fault and can be beaten.
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Try something new

I used to feel safe with what I knew (the predictable) but this prevented me from experiencing so many other wonderful things life has ...

I used to feel safe with what I knew (the predictable) but this prevented me from experiencing so many other wonderful things life has to offer. Take baby steps and have that cappuccino that you so often deny yourself.

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Recognize the need for professional help

If you've harmed yourself to the point of severe injury (that is, inflicting a cut that bled for more than 10 minutes or intentionally ...

If you've harmed yourself to the point of severe injury (that is, inflicting a cut that bled for more than 10 minutes or intentionally nicking major veins or arteries), or if you've had suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately. No matter what your issue, age, gender, or background, never feel ashamed to seek help.

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Tell someone you trust

This is one of the hardest things to do, but it's also one of the most important. Building a stable support system for yourself can hel...

This is one of the hardest things to do, but it's also one of the most important. Building a stable support system for yourself can help you transition from cutting to recovery. Confide in a close family member, friend or member of your clergy or congregation.

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Remove objects from your immediate area

If you have time to search for something harm yourself with, you may just be able to crush the impulse. One minute can determine whethe...

If you have time to search for something harm yourself with, you may just be able to crush the impulse. One minute can determine whether or not you self harm. Don't keep sharp objects on your table, and don't put razors in a close drawer or cupboard. Try to distract yourself when you get the urge.

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Identify the triggers

The moment you have the urge to harm yourself, stop and think of what has just occurred. Remember it and try to avoid these situations....

The moment you have the urge to harm yourself, stop and think of what has just occurred. Remember it and try to avoid these situations. Determine what in particular makes this situation trigger off negative emotions: a certain feeling, or maybe an action? Work on reducing this issue until you have it under control or completely diminished.

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Harm control

A good idea is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you want to cut, snap the rubber band against your wrist instead. Yo...

A good idea is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you want to cut, snap the rubber band against your wrist instead. You can also draw on your wrist with red pen, or rub an ice cube on your wrist. Another option, which is good for people who are allergic to latex, would be to grab a handful of ice cubes and hold them for a minute or two until your hands hurt and then let go of them. Screaming at the top of your lungs into a pillow might help, as well.

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Express your emotions safely

Replace the time you would usually spend self-harming with other activities that allow you to explore your feelings without hurting you...

Replace the time you would usually spend self-harming with other activities that allow you to explore your feelings without hurting yourself. Enjoy a hobby, doing exercises or write a journal.

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Volunteer, or nurture something

Turn your focus outward to your community, a pet, or anything else that could use your help. Volunteer at your local shelter or hospita...

Turn your focus outward to your community, a pet, or anything else that could use your help. Volunteer at your local shelter or hospital, or donate your time to a family member or neighbor in need. Alternatively, you could direct your energy to caring for something that is dependent on you for survival, such as a pet or garden. These activities can help you feel productive and dependable, and make you notice that you do matter.

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Try to stop self-harming episodes

As soon as you feel the urge to harm yourself, take a deep breath, fold your arms, close your eyes and relax. Tell yourself that you ar...

As soon as you feel the urge to harm yourself, take a deep breath, fold your arms, close your eyes and relax. Tell yourself that you are not going to self harm. Get away from any objects you may use to harm yourself so it's not as easy to break your resolution. If possible, lie down somewhere. Stay like this until the urge goes, then quickly phone a help line or use another means of getting help.

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Love yourself

No matter what anyone else tells or what you think they think about you, you should love yourself. When you love someone, you don't hur...

No matter what anyone else tells or what you think they think about you, you should love yourself. When you love someone, you don't hurt them. Make a list of the things you like about yourself, or compliments people have paid you in the past. Refer to it often when you're feeling worthless or sad, and read it aloud to yourself.

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Exploring yourself

By finding out what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you feel weak, and what makes you feel strong - you can start devel...

By finding out what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you feel weak, and what makes you feel strong - you can start developing the spread of coping mechanisms that you need to work towards.

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Groups

Join a group or forum with other people who can help and share advice....

Join a group or forum with other people who can help and share advice.

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Build self-steem

Build self-esteem – via positive affirmations, writing down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), t...

Build self-esteem – via positive affirmations, writing down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), taking up a meaningful hobby or volunteering, educate yourself on self-harm and learn this is not your fault and can be beaten.

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Distraction

Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally...

Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally demanding activity such as puzzles, writing or reading, seeing a friend or family member.

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Distraction

Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally...

Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally demanding activity such as puzzles, writing or reading, seeing a friend or family member.

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Create an emergency kit

Place positive things in your kit like photos of things or people you love, notes to yourself or from friends or family, a journal for ...

Place positive things in your kit like photos of things or people you love, notes to yourself or from friends or family, a journal for writing, markers or art supplies for artistic expression, an inspirational poem, beloved stuffed animal, upbeat music, favorite scents, and other things like that to help you dilute the urge to self-harm.

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Forgive yourself

As you try to interrupt your self-harming behaviours, know that it may not come as easily some days as others. Should you find that you...

As you try to interrupt your self-harming behaviours, know that it may not come as easily some days as others. Should you find that you've lapsed into self-harming, remind yourself that change is a process. Learn to forgive and be kind to yourself as you start anew.

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Hold your ground

Sensory Grounding Experiences like holding something soft, listening to soothing music, drawing or writing, for example, can interrupt ...

Sensory Grounding Experiences like holding something soft, listening to soothing music, drawing or writing, for example, can interrupt the trance-like state that often comes with self-harm, shifting you towards more positive behaviours.

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Reboot your mind

Reframe your thoughts toward helpful statements, also known as Cognitive Grounding Skills, like "Who am I really mad at?"...."What is s...

Reframe your thoughts toward helpful statements, also known as Cognitive Grounding Skills, like "Who am I really mad at?"...."What is setting me off?".... "I am safe because I can take control." These can re-orient you to the here-and-now.

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Take a detour

Re-route self-harm by using less severe forms of sensations. Holding an ice cube, tearing paper, shredding a sheet, snapping a rubber b...

Re-route self-harm by using less severe forms of sensations. Holding an ice cube, tearing paper, shredding a sheet, snapping a rubber band against your skin, sucking a lemon peel, pounding a pillow are ways to diminish the need to self-injure.

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Use positive imagery

Visualize yourself moving through your painful moment without self-harming. Research shows that using positive visualization can keep y...

Visualize yourself moving through your painful moment without self-harming. Research shows that using positive visualization can keep you in-the-moment which is a key tool for recovery.

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Move your body

Consider the adrenaline rush of running, dancing, holding a yoga pose, jumping rope to offset urges to self-harm. The rush of adrenalin...

Consider the adrenaline rush of running, dancing, holding a yoga pose, jumping rope to offset urges to self-harm. The rush of adrenaline of these positive behaviors has been known to produce the similar chemical surge that comes from self-injury.

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Be supportive

If you know someone who may be self-injuring, offer support and try not to shame or criticize the NSSI behaviour. Self-injury behaviour...

If you know someone who may be self-injuring, offer support and try not to shame or criticize the NSSI behaviour. Self-injury behaviours can be successfully treated, so help your friend or family member by encouraging them to seek help.

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Consider calling a therapist

Remember that having an urge to self-harm is not the same as actually self-harming. If you can distract yourself from self-injury, you ...

Remember that having an urge to self-harm is not the same as actually self-harming. If you can distract yourself from self-injury, you are well on your way to recovery. However, if the urges win out, not allowing you to reduce your self-harm behaviors, consider working with a professional therapist.

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Exercise

Vent frustration, improve your health and increase your energy levels. If you have body image issues this will also help....

Vent frustration, improve your health and increase your energy levels. If you have body image issues this will also help.

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Music

Put something cheerful on. Or, if it helps, something miserable. You know your own tastes, just try and stay positive....

Put something cheerful on. Or, if it helps, something miserable. You know your own tastes, just try and stay positive.

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Root causes

Try and work out why it is you’re self harming. Are you being bullied? Speak to somebody about it, however humiliating it may be. Bod...

Try and work out why it is you’re self harming. Are you being bullied? Speak to somebody about it, however humiliating it may be. Body image issues? Do something about it! There’s always somebody who will listen – friends, parents, teachers, the list goes on.

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Throw out your blades

Unless whatever you use to self harm has an obvious practical purpose, get rid of it – it’s only enabling you to carry on. Alternat...

Unless whatever you use to self harm has an obvious practical purpose, get rid of it – it’s only enabling you to carry on. Alternatively, if it is useful or you can’t throw it away, ask somebody to look after it and only use it when supervised.

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Avoid your triggers

Once you know what’s causing you to do this, try to avoid that thing having any presence in your life, and when it is present, only w...

Once you know what’s causing you to do this, try to avoid that thing having any presence in your life, and when it is present, only with somebody who cares about you enough to stop you hurting yourself.

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Waiting for treatment

If a person who has self-harmed has to wait for treatment, he or she should be offered an environment that is safe, supportive and mini...

If a person who has self-harmed has to wait for treatment, he or she should be offered an environment that is safe, supportive and minimises any distress. For example, a separate, quiet room with supervision and regular contact with a named and specified member of staff to ensure safety.

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Young people and their families

It is good practice to encourage competent young people to involve their families in decision-making. However, if such a young person d...

It is good practice to encourage competent young people to involve their families in decision-making. However, if such a young person does not wish this, disclosure can be justified if it is decided that the young person is suffering, or is likely to suffer, significant harm.

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Talking about self-harm can be very stressful

Don’t be discouraged if the situation feels worse for a short time right after sharing your secret. It’s uncomfortable to confront ...

Don’t be discouraged if the situation feels worse for a short time right after sharing your secret. It’s uncomfortable to confront and change long-standing habits. But once you get past these initial challenges, you’ll start to feel better.

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Communicate in whatever way you feel most comfortable

If you’re too nervous to talk in person, consider starting off the conversation with an email or letter (although it’s important to...

If you’re too nervous to talk in person, consider starting off the conversation with an email or letter (although it’s important to eventually follow-up with a face-to-face conversation). Don’t feel pressured. You don’t have to show the person your injuries or answer any questions you don’t feel comfortable answering.

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Focus on your feelings

Instead of sharing sensational details of your self-harm behavior focus on the feelings or situations that lead to it. This can help th...

Instead of sharing sensational details of your self-harm behavior focus on the feelings or situations that lead to it. This can help the person you’re confiding in better understand where you’re coming from. It also helps to let the person know why you’re telling them. Do you want help or advice from them? Do you simply want another person to know so you can let go of the secret?

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Give the person time to process what you tell them

As difficult as it is for you to open up, it may also be difficult for the person you tell. Sometimes, you may not like the way the per...

As difficult as it is for you to open up, it may also be difficult for the person you tell. Sometimes, you may not like the way the person reacts. Try to remember that reactions such as shock, anger, and fear come out of concern for you. The better they understand self-harm, the better able they’ll be to support you.

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Understanding why you cut or self-harm

It is a vital first step toward your recovery. If you can figure out what function your self-injury serves, you can learn other ways to...

It is a vital first step toward your recovery. If you can figure out what function your self-injury serves, you can learn other ways to get those needs met—which in turn can reduce your desire to hurt yourself.

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Substitutes for the cutting sensation

Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut. Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut. Put rubber bands on w...

Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut. Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut. Put rubber bands on wrists, arms, or legs and snap them instead of cutting or hitting.

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Finding the right therapist may take some time

It’s very important that the therapist you choose has experience treating both trauma and self-injury. But the quality of the relatio...

It’s very important that the therapist you choose has experience treating both trauma and self-injury. But the quality of the relationship with your therapist is equally important. Trust your instincts. If you don’t feel safe, respected, or understood, find another therapist.

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