A-Junkie-Dies-–-Dealing-with-the-death-of-a-heroin-user

A Junkie Dies – Dealing with the death of a heroin user

A Junkie Dies – Dealing with the death of a heroin user – heroinhelper.com

It is harder to deal with the sudden death of a loved one than a death that gives warning. It may seem odd or even cruel to say that prolonged deaths like those from certain kinds of cancer are a "good" way to die. For the survivor, however, it is true, and there is one very obvious reason why it is so: prolonged deaths allow everyone involved to say all those things that we rarely say on ordinary days--things like, "I love you", "I forgive you", "I'm sorry". In other words, it is possible (even likely) that you will reach some kind of closure in your relationship with the dying loved one.

Unpredictable Death

When a heroin user dies as a result of his use, much is left un-said, because there is nothing that can predict the death (other than the obvious fact that one who doesn't use heroin will not die as a result of using it). To make matters worse, surviving loved ones fall into one of two categories, both bad:

They were unaware that their loved one used heroin. This situation inevitably leads to thoughts such as, "I should have been more involved with his life".
They were aware. This situation is even worse with thoughts such as, "I should have done whatever was necessary to get him to stop using--not just wait for this to happen."

Keep Perspective

There is nothing that I, or anyone else, can say that will do much to ease the sorrow of a heroin-related sudden death. The one thing I think I can do is put the death into perspective. Such a death is kind of a combination of a suicide death and an accidental death, even though in all cases it is solely one of the two. Some heroin users choose to end their lives and they use heroin to do it. Based upon my own experience, however, most heroin related sudden deaths are accidents: mis-judging the purity of drugs being used, carelessly combining heroin with other drugs such as alcohol, or any number of other things that can go wrong.

As I have written many, many times, using heroin is a dangerous hobby. I have never met a user who was not aware of that fact--for many, it is part of the thrill of doing the drug. But leaving how dangerous a hobby heroin use is, it is still just that: a hobby. Heroin use is a recreational choice that some people make. You have no control over such choices made by other people.

You Can't Make Decisions for Others

When a person dies for a reason related to his heroin use, you must stop all thoughts that you could have gotten him to stop using. Doing so would have been as effective as trying to stop a hang-gliding enthusiast to "ground" himself. He made his decision, and although the results were tragic, you are not to blame in any way.

Ways to Keep Perspective

Below is a list of things to keep in mind when you are thinking of a deceased heroin user who you cared about.

Those Using Heroin Know What They Are Doing

There are a lot of people who could be blamed for a heroin related sudden death: the dealer, the government, the user's parents. All of this is bunk. The user knew that what he was doing could kill him. He made the choice anyway, because he thought the good things (the way the drug made him feel) out-weighed the bad things (jail, death). When a heroin user dies in this way, it is his fault. This doesn't mean we can't still feel sorry for him. A lot of things conspired against him; he would have led a very different life in the 19th century, for example.

Heroin Use Does Not Imply an Unhappy Life

Contrary to popular belief, heroin users use their drug of choice because it makes them feel good. I've met plenty of junkies who had near-perfect childhoods. They weren't using heroin to rid themselves of painful childhood memories. Doing heroin (at least at first) was fun. No one questions the motivations of people who ride rollercoasters; no one should question the motivations of heroin users.

Heroin Use Has a Positive Impact on Society

Most heroin users are rebellious. We should revoice that our heroin using loved one pushed the limits of our social conventions--in a manner that didn't harm others. They may have also done bad things, but their form of social protest was strong and noble and certainly out-weighed those "wrongs".

Great Joy is Experience by Heroin Users

Most heroin users have experienced the greatest joy of which their bodies were capable. They might also have lived through some difficult times, but before they left this world they got to experience the best life has to offer.

Sudden Death is Painless

Sudden death comes to heroin users in many forms. Some simply drift off into sleep while others foam at the mouth and have seizures. Regardless of how it looks on the outside, the heroin user feels no pain. My one experience with this caused my body to go into grand mal seizures--scaring all those around me terribly. But all I felt was the warm flush of heroin followed by no feeling at all. If I got to choose how I would die, that would be it.

Things to do Before a Death Occurs

If the heroin user you love is still alive, there are a number of things that will make sudden death easier to handle (I would give the same advice to the loved ones of anyone who has a dangerous hobby.)

Be honest

Don't let important things go un-stated, because there may not be a tomorrow to do so. This is similar to some of the advice I gave in Encouraging Junkies to "Clean Up", but it is even more important here. If you want, think of your heroin-using loved one as having cancer which may cause him to die any day.

Keep the danger in perspective

Heroin use is not as dangerous as driving a taxicab for a living.

Remind him of tolerance

Many heroin related sudden deaths are the result of brief withdrawal periods (usually due to a day or two in jail) followed by the user doing his usual amount which is now much too high a dose for him. Remind him of the tolerance problem.

Remind him of drug mixing

The easiest way to kill yourself with heroin is to get really drunk and then do a moderate amount of heroin. There are many bad drug combinations, but heroin and alcohol are the most common and the most deadly.

Don't isolate him

In most cases, a heroin user's death could have been prevented if someone had been around to call for help when the event took place. The less you isolate a heroin user, the less likely he will be to use alone.

Relationships with Heroin Users

It is hard to be the loved one of a heroin user in today's political climate. Nowhere is this seen so clearly as when a heroin user dies suddenly. If you know that a loved one is a heroin user, remember that he has a greater risk of death than other people in your life. Use this information: keep your relationship up to date; say the things there may not be time to say later.

If the loved one is already gone, keep the loss in perspective. Hopefully, you were on good and open terms with him. If not, you have information to use in your next relationship with a heroin user.

Notes

1 You will note that I do not use the term "overdose". This is because the term is misused; and it is almost never the case that a heroin user dies of an overdose (defined here as simply using too much heroin in too short a period of time). In almost all cases, the true cause was the mixing of heroin with some other drug (either deliberately, as when a user does a speedball--a combination of heroin and cocaine, or accidentally, as when the heroin itself is cut with some drug such as quinine). "Overdose" is a convenient shorthand for "heroin related death", but it gives users and non-users alike, the wrong idea. The misuse of the term "overdose" perpetuates ignorance of the danger of mixing heroin and alcohol, for example. This is responsible for the deaths of untold numbers of heroin users each year.

2 Clearly, I didn't stay dead. Paramedics were called who injected me with narcan. But I was, by the common (but not technical) definition, dead: my heart had stopped beating and I was not breathing. What I was experiencing was not actually a heroin overdose. At that time and place, much of what was being sold as heroin was really morphine. Large doses of morphine can cause histamine reactions which in turn, can cause seizures and death. This is another case of a drug's illegality making an accidental death far more likely. No pharmacist would given morphine to a person asking for heroin. Morphine (and much more so) codeine are more toxic than heroin

3 Note how the media almost always attributes such deaths heroin overdose. The fact that the deceased had near toxic levels of alcohol in his blood is rarely mentioned and never blamed.

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The Have I Got A Problem website is a free online resource to help people better understand any issues or concerns they may have about mental health or addiction. The website includes resources specifically focused to; general Mental Health, Depression, Stress, Anxiety, Insecurities, Self-harm Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anger Management, Eating Disorders, Coping, general Addiction, Alcohol, Smoking, Gambling, Drugs, Cocaine, Heroin, Marijuana (Cannabis) Ecstasy, PCP, Mephedrone, Ketamine & Crystal Meth.

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Quotes

"The most important thing I lost was the respect and trust of my family. I have never felt a feeling worse than that."

Rachel

"I want to stop myself from doing drugs before it's too late. I want to get clean and turn my life around before I start taking harder drugs."

Mia-louise

"I had not taken a bath in a year or changed my clothes except to stick a needle every hour in the fibrous grey flesh of heroin addiction."

Claire

"I’ve done some awful things to keep my habit going. I’ve stole from everyone in my family and every place I’ve worked. I’ve literally wrecked everyone’s life that is close to me. It didn’t matter how I got money as long as I got it, I’d just deal with the"

Anon

"My brother was a charismatic, athletic, loyal, outgoing guy with a heart of gold; since he started using heroin he has lost himself. He's stolen from friends, family, neighbors, strangers.. He wakes up in the morning, full of self loathing and worries abo"

Taylor

"The only life I had in me was for that, and when I did not have that I had only deep, deep depression. A darkness would straightaway engulf me and leave me only what could alleviate my pain - heroin."

James

"I don't miss the fact that now when my lips move it is more than likely I am actually telling the truth."

Jane S

"I don't miss the fear that arose when I'm driving my car every time a police car hovers into view."

Steven

"My lowest point was when I realised I was stealing money from my daughters Christmas presents to fund my habit."

P. Gomez

"That's what made me think of stopping my drug habits - My Blood pressure spiked at 200/110 last week during a Panic Attack."

Maria

"Anyone being faced with the reality that their addiction needs to be conquered and their life will change is going to be scared."

Fatima

"You need to realize that the little voice in your head telling you to use is your own."

Maya

"Find out why you use, find out your triggers, and take it day by day. Any day clean is better than any day you’ve been high."

Ivan

"My goal in life wasn't living...it was getting high. I was falling in a downward spiral towards a point of no return"

John

"I ended up homeless and on the streets, living and sleeping in a cardboard box, begging and struggling to find ways to get my next meal."

Ben

"Now I see how important it is for me to be in control of every part of me. Today my body is being controlled by me. I am in the driver’s seat, and I’m driving with happiness."

Nathan

"Little did I know that my mom was upstairs crying every night that I came home late, crying because she was scared for my survival."

Nick

"Heroin overdose is a bad term as it implies there is a safe dose. There is no safe dose, only a lethal dose."

Mann Spitler

"I got in by tiny little steps, thousands of these little decisions leading incrementally to my heroin addiction."

Ebadaah

"I was being very selfish because I was thinking I was not hurting anyone but myself by using heroine, but this was the farthest thing from the truth."

Amanda

"I remember driving down the highway with a friend one day. He turned to me and said ‘do you realize what we are doinng? We are ruining our lives."

Anonymous

"I really needed to go to jail, it was the kick up the arse I needed to stop doing heroin."

Polly

"I became so dependent on heroin that I could barely get up to get my drugs to make me feel better."

Chickie

"I am lying in bed shaking, my legs aching. My eyes are sore, I’m nauseous, muscles paining and I’m constantly sneezing."

Christian

"Heroin is evil and will bring you down. There is no future for the heroin user. Well done for kicking it."

Mitchell

"I know that a lot of people are opposed to Methadone and that is ok, but for some people it can be a great blessing. I am one of those people. I still miss Heroin, I dream about Heroin...and I know that if not for Methadone, I would have a needle in my ve"

Leslie

"Sometimes I wish my mind would just shut up when I'm clean and let me stay clean, but it just wants me so bad to use."

Taylor

"Heroin is not cool and it didn't make me any cooler, I just looked like a stupid little junkie in everyone's eyes except my own."

Samantha

"Then one day I took the jump and asked for my first hit, this was the biggest mistake of my life."

Jordan

"The brain doesn't heal over night. However the less you use the less and less you crave it, until finally you barely ever think about it and sobriety finally makes sense. It took me about 6 months of slips before I finally realized that the drugs were not"

Michael

"When I was on heroin, I had dark circles under my eyes. My skin was like a yellowish color. I looked sick, physically ill. I overdosed four times. You never know if you're going to overdose, because you never know what you're getting."

Charity

"One day I overdosed and ended up in the hospital. That scared me like nothing had before. I saw that I really didn't have control over my drug use, and if I didn't do something, it could kill me."

Deon

"It is hard to be the loved one of a heroin user in today's political climate. Nowhere is this seen so clearly as when a heroin user dies suddenly"

Dr M

"It is harder to deal with the sudden death of a loved one than a death that gives warning"

Dr M

"In the end, he told us that he’d had a problem with heroin for almost 10 years, since he was 20. He asked for our help"

Robert and Cassie

"Working helped him a lot. It kept him busy and occupied. Not seeing people that he used to see was really important"

Robert and Cassie

"I felt so guilty that I’d let Adam get into this situation in the first place. I kept thinking about what would help Adam. At the time I couldn’t see that maybe we should get some help too."

Robert and Cassie

"When I realized how serious my son’s opiate addiction was, I wanted to “fix it”. "

Renee

"Treat them like adults, especially if they are one. You can’t be there every minute of the day to stop them making bad decisions, so don’t try to be"

Dr Michael Pantalon

"Being a junkie is hard work. It is a 24 hour per day, 7 day per week job"

Dr M

"I was going through counseling and I told my therapist about all the lying and using behind my parents back"

Mindy

"To pay for my addiction I sold furniture, jewellery and anything else that would bring in some extra cash. My habit got so bad that I even worked as a prostitute for three months."

"Nicola"

"My health deteriorated very quickly. I 'technically' died three times in intensive care"

"Nicola"

"It's been a slow and painful process but I'm really proud of what I've achieved so far"

"Nicola"

"The expectations were different than what I was used to. They weren’t just focused on your grades. They were focused on your sobriety, too"

Mindy

"Do I miss it? After 8 years clean. I still have using dreams, if that's what you mean. Would I ever go near it? Not on your ******* life."

Duke

"Who I was at work and socially was my alter ego. I was pretending to give a sh*t about life because I needed and wanted my heroin supply to be constant."

Laura

"As all heroin addicts know, the next smoke or shoot is always the last one."

Eric

"Today is my day 6 clean, but as I type this now I know failure is only one phone call away. Will I make that call today? I don't know, but if I do, I have only myself to blame. I know my addiction is my fault, I know I have only me to blame for it, and I "

Henry

"I never considered myself an addict, the people who lost control. I swore I would never be one of them. Then it happened, once turned into twice and twice turned thrice and once was too many but a thousand was never enough."

Paula

"Education and employment is the key to staying clean I feel, a new focus in life is a good start but there’s plenty of other stuff needed to be drug free long term."

Brian

"It was now 3 weeks since I got high that first time. By now I'm getting high everyday, I'm lying to people about getting high and I'm sleeping with my dealer for free drugs. And I still don't see the problem. Heroin just blinds you. All I can see is the p"

Megan

"Hopefully today I'll stay clean. Not sure about tomorrow."

Ingrid

"I eneded up trying to cash a stolen check and got arrested. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I've been straight for 34 days now. Its hard everyday is a struggle but I'm taking it one day at a time."

Kelsey

"I have seen many die, but when you shoot up you forget all these things."

Tomas

"I was raped, beaten, mugged, robbed, arrested, homeless, sick and desperate. I knew that nobody could have a lifestyle like that very long and I knew that death was imminent. If anything, death was better than a life as a junkie."

Alison

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