What is self-injury and who does it?
What is self-injury and who does it?
Self-injury can be many things that people do to themselves in a deliberate and often hidden way like cutting, burning, overdosing, scratching, biting, hair pulling and breaking bones.
Sometimes people think they are the only ones doing it but research shows that it is very common.
In the UK at least one in every 15 young people has experience of self-injury. That is two young people in every classroom.
Why do people self-injure?
Girls and young women self-injure for all sorts of reasons, but often it is because feelings like anger, sadness and fear have got too painful to deal with.
Sometimes girls self injure because of pressure and stress from things like relationships, family problems, school, sexual worries or as a way of dealing with horrible situations like abuse or the death of someone close.
You may not know why you self-injure. If you think back to the first time, then you may understand what made you start.
Notice what is going on for you when you get the urge to self-injure and you may get clues as to what your self-injury is about.
The Have I Got A Problem website is a free online resource to help people better understand any issues or concerns they may have about mental health or addiction. The website includes resources specifically focused to; general Mental Health, Depression, Stress, Anxiety, Insecurities, Self-harm Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anger Management, Eating Disorders, Coping, general Addiction, Alcohol, Smoking, Gambling, Drugs, Cocaine, Heroin, Marijuana (Cannabis) Ecstasy, PCP, Mephedrone, Ketamine & Crystal Meth.
The site was created to give the public information to help them understand mental health and addiction issues and to assist people in making better informed decisions about their life and personal choices.
www.haveigotaproblem.com was created and is run by 'Advising Communities’, which is a UK registered charity (Charity No. 1061055)
Downloads
Quotes
"I've been really lucky in that everyone I've told has pretty much been OK with it, I've had counselling for a while, and my friends are supportive."
Dorothy
"My parents found out and that’s when I stopped self-harming. When I saw my parents cry, that’s when it hit me that I’m not just hurting myself; but I’m hurting other people."
Toni
"I cried and cried and at one point couldn’t even look myself in the mirror, I began to cope with this in the worst ways."
Monica
"At first self-harm was a way of coping. Like that was the one thing I could control. But after a while, it controlled me."
Mia
"I hurt myself to stop the monster. I hurt myself because I am nothing...I addicted to my pain."
Len
"I have scars and cuts to tell a story."
Rachel
"If you're thinking of cutting yourself, please don't. You will regret it forever, and the scars will never go away."
Kathleen
"The whole point of cutting was to actually try and be aware of something again because it often seemed like I didn't actually feel anything."
Liz
"When I look at my scars, I see flashbacks. I see memories that I wish I could forget."
Parker
"Sometimes i look at my scars and see them more like battle scars that i feel proud of. And other times i feel ashaimed of them coz of the people i've hurt when i've harmed myself."
Patch
"Sometimes i look at my scars and see them more like battle scars that i feel proud of. And other times i feel ashaimed of them coz of the people i've hurt when i've harmed myself."
Patch
"Sometimes i look at my scars and see them more like battle scars that i feel proud of. And other times i feel ashaimed of them coz of the people i've hurt when i've harmed myself."
Patch
"Sometimes i look at my scars and see them more like battle scars that i feel proud of. And other times i feel ashaimed of them coz of the people i've hurt when i've harmed myself."
Patch
"Sometimes i look at my scars and see them more like battle scars that i feel proud of. And other times i feel ashaimed of them coz of the people i've hurt when i've harmed myself."
Patch
"Sometimes i look at my scars and see them more like battle scars that i feel proud of. And other times i feel ashaimed of them coz of the people i've hurt when i've harmed myself."
Patch
"Sometimes i look at my scars and see them more like battle scars that i feel proud of. And other times i feel ashaimed of them coz of the people i've hurt when i've harmed myself."
Patch
"I have self harmed now for a few years now and its beccause i am bulllied, its an escape."
Sam
"I tried to cover the scars up with make-up beforehand, but it didn't work. Mum saw them and was really horrified."
Hayle
"I was being abused and I felt trapped and helpless. I felt I deserved to be punished, but it also gave me something I could control."
Michelle
"I was being abused and I felt trapped and helpless. I felt I deserved to be punished, but it also gave me something I could control."
Michelle
"The tension from the continual family arguments was unbearable. I felt I was going to explode until I cut myself and experienced feelings of relief."
Ranjit
"My parents and teachers expected much more of me than I felt I could deliver, and the only release from the pressure was to burn myself."
Ryan
"I felt like I wasn't really part of the real world because I'd tried to cut myself off from my troubles. Watching myself bleeding and feeling the pain made me feel like I was real and alive."
Luisa
"I feel it is because I can't handle my emotions very well. When I get really sad or really mad I feel the need to hurt myself to make me feel better."
Ben
"I do it for different reasons, depending on what state of mind I am in. I will do it sometimes as a way to get relief from the pain I am feeling inside. Other times I do because at the time I feel I deserve to be punished. And other times I do it to "shou"
Linda
"I also think that I deserve to hurt because I'm such a horrible person. I don't know why I feel like this, but I do."
Karen
"I never want to make someone feel the way people make me feel, so I don't say anything. I keep everything to myself and then it builds up. I explode and then start cutting."
Susan
"I injure myself to try and calm down; to try and escape the painful memories of my abuse; to try and take control of my emotions; to try and feel safe; to stop the nightmares and daymares; to try and feel."
Amanda
"I usually injure myself in an effort to get my mind off of terminating my life. In short, injuring myself is the only way I stay alive."
Sarah
"I thought if I had bruises on me, someone would realize that things weren’t all right at home, and would make it stop, somehow."
Alan
"I am so embarrassed about the scars on my forearms. I can't wear t-shirts now without having to face the fact that I DID THAT to my arms."
Anonymous
"I hit myself because I’m so angry with myself – for being so stupid and pathetic, for being the sort of person bad things happen to."
Rick
"I just realized now that I will probably lose friends and important people because of this. They'll think I'm psycho and be scared of me."
Carol
"To stop myself, I try to read some supportive letters from my friends."
Alice
"It’s like a control thing. How deep, how often, where I cut – it’s all down to me. It’s my body and I’ll decide what to do with it."
Jeremy
"A lot of stuff had been going on since I was 14 or 15. I had been stressed over a variety of things and it had all been building up"
Bethany
"Anything I could get my hands on. It was about control for me and about feeling something else apart from the hell I was feeling. I was not trying to kill myself."
Bethany
"If someone is self-harming they are doing it in secret and are feeling emotional distress and that needs to be addressed"
Dr Singh
"It's incredibly sad that so many young people are using self-harm as a way to deal with their issues and that many are suffering in silence."
Tulisa, N-Dubz
"I have flashbacks and nightmares that I can't control at all"
John Mantooth
"Self-harm is often a coping strategy used by people to deal with very difficult feelings, as a way of communicating when things cannot put into words or even thoughts"
Dr Toby Moran
"I didn’t want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry. But I know, that is not the way."
Indira
"Holding back your feelings may save you from others, but it will never save you from yourself."
Anonymous
"Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better."
Anonymous
"Sit's about trying to create a senseof other out of chaos. It's a visual manifestation of extreme distress."
Maggy Ross
"The greatest asset we have for change is our voices and our ears."
Mike
"My doctor actually spoke to me, rather than talking down to me. He spoke to me like a person, instead of just a silly little girl, who cuts up and all this."
Nathaly
"Doesn’t treat me like a normal, as if I’m not normal because I self-harm, like there’s something wrong with my intelligence or something. Like a retard, I suppose. Because I self-harm, then obviously I’m thick."
Alex
"I need people to work with me ... you know a partnership ... if my rights and everything’s taken away then I’m panic and I’m more likely to injure myself."
Dario
"I no longer self harm. There is hope. Don't give up."
Tony
Tips & Hints
Trust in someone
If you’re ready to seek help for cutting or self-harm, the first step is being willing to confide in another person. It can be scary ...If you’re ready to seek help for cutting or self-harm, the first step is being willing to confide in another person. It can be scary to talk about the very thing you have worked so hard to hide, but it can also be a huge relief to finally let go of your secret and share what you’re going through.MoreFigure out what your self-harm triggers are
Self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain. What feelings make you want to cut or hurt yourself? Whether it is sadnes...Self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain. What feelings make you want to cut or hurt yourself? Whether it is sadness, anger, shame, loneliness, guilt or emptiness, once you learn to recognise which feelings trigger your need to self-injure, you can start developing healthier alternatives.MoreDiscover your feelings
Having a hard time pinpointing exactly which feelings trigger your urge to self-harm? You may need to work on your emotional awareness....Having a hard time pinpointing exactly which feelings trigger your urge to self-harm? You may need to work on your emotional awareness. Emotional awareness means knowing what you are feeling and why. It’s the ability to identify and express what you are feeling from moment to moment and to understand the connection between your feelings and your actions. The idea of paying attention to your feelings rather than numbing them or releasing them through self-harm, may sound frightening to you. You may be afraid that you’ll get overwhelmed or be stuck with the pain. But the truth is that emotions quickly come and go if you let them. If you don’t try to fight, judge, or beat yourself up over the feeling, you’ll find that it soon fades, and is replaced by another emotion. It’s only when you obsess over the feeling that it persists.MoreLook for new ways of coping
Self-harm is your way of dealing with feelings and difficult situations. So if you’re going to stop, you need to put alternative ways...Self-harm is your way of dealing with feelings and difficult situations. So if you’re going to stop, you need to put alternative ways of coping in place so that you can respond differently when you start to feel like cutting or hurting yourself. For instance, express your feelings in a journal or listen to calming music, etc.MoreBuild self-esteem
Build self-esteem via positive affirmations. Write down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), taking ...Build self-esteem via positive affirmations. Write down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), taking up a meaningful hobby or do some volunteering. Also educate yourself on self-harm, and learn this is not your fault and can be beaten.MoreTry something new
I used to feel safe with what I knew (the predictable) but this prevented me from experiencing so many other wonderful things life has ...I used to feel safe with what I knew (the predictable) but this prevented me from experiencing so many other wonderful things life has to offer. Take baby steps and have that cappuccino that you so often deny yourself.MoreRecognize the need for professional help
If you've harmed yourself to the point of severe injury (that is, inflicting a cut that bled for more than 10 minutes or intentionally ...If you've harmed yourself to the point of severe injury (that is, inflicting a cut that bled for more than 10 minutes or intentionally nicking major veins or arteries), or if you've had suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately. No matter what your issue, age, gender, or background, never feel ashamed to seek help.MoreTell someone you trust
This is one of the hardest things to do, but it's also one of the most important. Building a stable support system for yourself can hel...This is one of the hardest things to do, but it's also one of the most important. Building a stable support system for yourself can help you transition from cutting to recovery. Confide in a close family member, friend or member of your clergy or congregation.MoreRemove objects from your immediate area
If you have time to search for something harm yourself with, you may just be able to crush the impulse. One minute can determine whethe...If you have time to search for something harm yourself with, you may just be able to crush the impulse. One minute can determine whether or not you self harm. Don't keep sharp objects on your table, and don't put razors in a close drawer or cupboard. Try to distract yourself when you get the urge.MoreIdentify the triggers
The moment you have the urge to harm yourself, stop and think of what has just occurred. Remember it and try to avoid these situations....The moment you have the urge to harm yourself, stop and think of what has just occurred. Remember it and try to avoid these situations. Determine what in particular makes this situation trigger off negative emotions: a certain feeling, or maybe an action? Work on reducing this issue until you have it under control or completely diminished.MoreHarm control
A good idea is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you want to cut, snap the rubber band against your wrist instead. Yo...A good idea is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you want to cut, snap the rubber band against your wrist instead. You can also draw on your wrist with red pen, or rub an ice cube on your wrist. Another option, which is good for people who are allergic to latex, would be to grab a handful of ice cubes and hold them for a minute or two until your hands hurt and then let go of them. Screaming at the top of your lungs into a pillow might help, as well.MoreExpress your emotions safely
Replace the time you would usually spend self-harming with other activities that allow you to explore your feelings without hurting you...Replace the time you would usually spend self-harming with other activities that allow you to explore your feelings without hurting yourself. Enjoy a hobby, doing exercises or write a journal.MoreVolunteer, or nurture something
Turn your focus outward to your community, a pet, or anything else that could use your help. Volunteer at your local shelter or hospita...Turn your focus outward to your community, a pet, or anything else that could use your help. Volunteer at your local shelter or hospital, or donate your time to a family member or neighbor in need. Alternatively, you could direct your energy to caring for something that is dependent on you for survival, such as a pet or garden. These activities can help you feel productive and dependable, and make you notice that you do matter.MoreTry to stop self-harming episodes
As soon as you feel the urge to harm yourself, take a deep breath, fold your arms, close your eyes and relax. Tell yourself that you ar...As soon as you feel the urge to harm yourself, take a deep breath, fold your arms, close your eyes and relax. Tell yourself that you are not going to self harm. Get away from any objects you may use to harm yourself so it's not as easy to break your resolution. If possible, lie down somewhere. Stay like this until the urge goes, then quickly phone a help line or use another means of getting help.MoreLove yourself
No matter what anyone else tells or what you think they think about you, you should love yourself. When you love someone, you don't hur...No matter what anyone else tells or what you think they think about you, you should love yourself. When you love someone, you don't hurt them. Make a list of the things you like about yourself, or compliments people have paid you in the past. Refer to it often when you're feeling worthless or sad, and read it aloud to yourself.MoreExploring yourself
By finding out what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you feel weak, and what makes you feel strong - you can start devel...By finding out what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you feel weak, and what makes you feel strong - you can start developing the spread of coping mechanisms that you need to work towards.MoreGroups
Join a group or forum with other people who can help and share advice....Join a group or forum with other people who can help and share advice.MoreBuild self-steem
Build self-esteem – via positive affirmations, writing down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), t...Build self-esteem – via positive affirmations, writing down things you like about yourself (or what others say are your positives), taking up a meaningful hobby or volunteering, educate yourself on self-harm and learn this is not your fault and can be beaten.MoreDistraction
Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally...Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally demanding activity such as puzzles, writing or reading, seeing a friend or family member.MoreDistraction
Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally...Getting out of your immediate surroundings, doing a physically demanding activity, such as aerobics, boxing or runnin, doing a mentally demanding activity such as puzzles, writing or reading, seeing a friend or family member.MoreCreate an emergency kit
Place positive things in your kit like photos of things or people you love, notes to yourself or from friends or family, a journal for ...Place positive things in your kit like photos of things or people you love, notes to yourself or from friends or family, a journal for writing, markers or art supplies for artistic expression, an inspirational poem, beloved stuffed animal, upbeat music, favorite scents, and other things like that to help you dilute the urge to self-harm.MoreForgive yourself
As you try to interrupt your self-harming behaviours, know that it may not come as easily some days as others. Should you find that you...As you try to interrupt your self-harming behaviours, know that it may not come as easily some days as others. Should you find that you've lapsed into self-harming, remind yourself that change is a process. Learn to forgive and be kind to yourself as you start anew.MoreHold your ground
Sensory Grounding Experiences like holding something soft, listening to soothing music, drawing or writing, for example, can interrupt ...Sensory Grounding Experiences like holding something soft, listening to soothing music, drawing or writing, for example, can interrupt the trance-like state that often comes with self-harm, shifting you towards more positive behaviours.MoreReboot your mind
Reframe your thoughts toward helpful statements, also known as Cognitive Grounding Skills, like "Who am I really mad at?"...."What is s...Reframe your thoughts toward helpful statements, also known as Cognitive Grounding Skills, like "Who am I really mad at?"...."What is setting me off?".... "I am safe because I can take control." These can re-orient you to the here-and-now.MoreTake a detour
Re-route self-harm by using less severe forms of sensations. Holding an ice cube, tearing paper, shredding a sheet, snapping a rubber b...Re-route self-harm by using less severe forms of sensations. Holding an ice cube, tearing paper, shredding a sheet, snapping a rubber band against your skin, sucking a lemon peel, pounding a pillow are ways to diminish the need to self-injure.MoreUse positive imagery
Visualize yourself moving through your painful moment without self-harming. Research shows that using positive visualization can keep y...Visualize yourself moving through your painful moment without self-harming. Research shows that using positive visualization can keep you in-the-moment which is a key tool for recovery.MoreMove your body
Consider the adrenaline rush of running, dancing, holding a yoga pose, jumping rope to offset urges to self-harm. The rush of adrenalin...Consider the adrenaline rush of running, dancing, holding a yoga pose, jumping rope to offset urges to self-harm. The rush of adrenaline of these positive behaviors has been known to produce the similar chemical surge that comes from self-injury.MoreBe supportive
If you know someone who may be self-injuring, offer support and try not to shame or criticize the NSSI behaviour. Self-injury behaviour...If you know someone who may be self-injuring, offer support and try not to shame or criticize the NSSI behaviour. Self-injury behaviours can be successfully treated, so help your friend or family member by encouraging them to seek help.MoreConsider calling a therapist
Remember that having an urge to self-harm is not the same as actually self-harming. If you can distract yourself from self-injury, you ...Remember that having an urge to self-harm is not the same as actually self-harming. If you can distract yourself from self-injury, you are well on your way to recovery. However, if the urges win out, not allowing you to reduce your self-harm behaviors, consider working with a professional therapist.MoreExercise
Vent frustration, improve your health and increase your energy levels. If you have body image issues this will also help....Vent frustration, improve your health and increase your energy levels. If you have body image issues this will also help.MoreMusic
Put something cheerful on. Or, if it helps, something miserable. You know your own tastes, just try and stay positive....Put something cheerful on. Or, if it helps, something miserable. You know your own tastes, just try and stay positive.MoreRoot causes
Try and work out why it is you’re self harming. Are you being bullied? Speak to somebody about it, however humiliating it may be. Bod...Try and work out why it is you’re self harming. Are you being bullied? Speak to somebody about it, however humiliating it may be. Body image issues? Do something about it! There’s always somebody who will listen – friends, parents, teachers, the list goes on.MoreThrow out your blades
Unless whatever you use to self harm has an obvious practical purpose, get rid of it – it’s only enabling you to carry on. Alternat...Unless whatever you use to self harm has an obvious practical purpose, get rid of it – it’s only enabling you to carry on. Alternatively, if it is useful or you can’t throw it away, ask somebody to look after it and only use it when supervised.MoreAvoid your triggers
Once you know what’s causing you to do this, try to avoid that thing having any presence in your life, and when it is present, only w...Once you know what’s causing you to do this, try to avoid that thing having any presence in your life, and when it is present, only with somebody who cares about you enough to stop you hurting yourself.MoreWaiting for treatment
If a person who has self-harmed has to wait for treatment, he or she should be offered an environment that is safe, supportive and mini...If a person who has self-harmed has to wait for treatment, he or she should be offered an environment that is safe, supportive and minimises any distress. For example, a separate, quiet room with supervision and regular contact with a named and specified member of staff to ensure safety.MoreYoung people and their families
It is good practice to encourage competent young people to involve their families in decision-making. However, if such a young person d...It is good practice to encourage competent young people to involve their families in decision-making. However, if such a young person does not wish this, disclosure can be justified if it is decided that the young person is suffering, or is likely to suffer, significant harm.MoreTalking about self-harm can be very stressful
Don’t be discouraged if the situation feels worse for a short time right after sharing your secret. It’s uncomfortable to confront ...Don’t be discouraged if the situation feels worse for a short time right after sharing your secret. It’s uncomfortable to confront and change long-standing habits. But once you get past these initial challenges, you’ll start to feel better.MoreCommunicate in whatever way you feel most comfortable
If you’re too nervous to talk in person, consider starting off the conversation with an email or letter (although it’s important to...If you’re too nervous to talk in person, consider starting off the conversation with an email or letter (although it’s important to eventually follow-up with a face-to-face conversation). Don’t feel pressured. You don’t have to show the person your injuries or answer any questions you don’t feel comfortable answering.MoreFocus on your feelings
Instead of sharing sensational details of your self-harm behavior focus on the feelings or situations that lead to it. This can help th...Instead of sharing sensational details of your self-harm behavior focus on the feelings or situations that lead to it. This can help the person you’re confiding in better understand where you’re coming from. It also helps to let the person know why you’re telling them. Do you want help or advice from them? Do you simply want another person to know so you can let go of the secret?MoreGive the person time to process what you tell them
As difficult as it is for you to open up, it may also be difficult for the person you tell. Sometimes, you may not like the way the per...As difficult as it is for you to open up, it may also be difficult for the person you tell. Sometimes, you may not like the way the person reacts. Try to remember that reactions such as shock, anger, and fear come out of concern for you. The better they understand self-harm, the better able they’ll be to support you.MoreUnderstanding why you cut or self-harm
It is a vital first step toward your recovery. If you can figure out what function your self-injury serves, you can learn other ways to...It is a vital first step toward your recovery. If you can figure out what function your self-injury serves, you can learn other ways to get those needs met—which in turn can reduce your desire to hurt yourself.MoreSubstitutes for the cutting sensation
Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut. Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut. Put rubber bands on w...Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut. Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut. Put rubber bands on wrists, arms, or legs and snap them instead of cutting or hitting.MoreFinding the right therapist may take some time
It’s very important that the therapist you choose has experience treating both trauma and self-injury. But the quality of the relatio...It’s very important that the therapist you choose has experience treating both trauma and self-injury. But the quality of the relationship with your therapist is equally important. Trust your instincts. If you don’t feel safe, respected, or understood, find another therapist.More
