How to stop being jealous


Does the guy you like spend a lot of time flirting with other girls? Has one of your friends started talking to other people and spending less time with you? Feeling jealous is pretty natural in those situations, but it's only dragging you down. Here's how to get your head space back and to stop being jealous. Just take deep breaths and remember that it's their life, not yours.


  1. Identify the situation that's triggering your feelings of jealousy.
  2. Build your self-confidence. Jealousy is usually a by-product of insecurity and low self-worth. You may have fears of being abandoned or rejected by someone close to you. Or you could be pouring your whole identity into just one thing (work or school) so that when that thing doesn't go your way, it really shakes your confidence.
  3. Avoid comparing yourself to other people. Make friends with someone who you think has it all, and you'll discover that even this person has his or her own hidden struggles. 
  4. Have reasonable expectations about how much time someone can devote to you. If your friends or partner isn't spending any time with you, then you may have valid concerns. But if someone spends a good deal of time with you, and you never feel like it's enough, then you're demanding too much.
  5. Do the opposite of what a jealous person would do. When you feel jealousy taking over, don't react in a destructive way by making accusations, giving someone the silent treatment or dropping little sarcastic hints. Instead, try to do what a trusting person would do in your place.
  6. Recognize the paranoia that is a part of jealousy. Jealousy causes you to react to a fantasy scenario that's all in your mind. In reality, the bad things that you're imagining may never happen at all. And if they do, you're strong enough to get through them. You have other people that you can count on in your life, and you'll move on to become a better person.
  7. Be trusting. This is a lot easier said than done. If you get jealous easily, you've probably had your trust broken in the past. You have to stop thinking about the past and put yourself in the present. Look at the person who's making you jealous. Has this person ever given you a reason not to trust him/her?
  8. Listen to your feelings because they're telling you something valuable. If you're feeling jealous, your emotions are telling you that something is happening, and you don't like it.
  9. Develop an optimistic view of people. Ultimately, jealousy is a fear-based behaviour. You're spending a lot of time worrying about something bad that hasn't happened yet, and might not happen at all. Unfortunately, you're creating a situation where bad things could happen because of all of your negative feelings. Ironic, isn't it? It's called a "self-fulfilling prophecy." If you believe in someone, believe in them completely. Good people deserve the benefit of the doubt. 

View as PDF


The Have I Got A Problem website is a free online resource to help people better understand any issues or concerns they may have about mental health or addiction. The website includes resources specifically focused to; general Mental Health, Depression, Stress, Anxiety, Insecurities, Self-harm Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anger Management, Eating Disorders, Coping, general Addiction, Alcohol, Smoking, Gambling, Drugs, Cocaine, Heroin, Marijuana (Cannabis) Ecstasy, PCP, Mephedrone, Ketamine & Crystal Meth.

The site was created to give the public information to help them understand mental health and addiction issues and to assist people in making better informed decisions about their life and personal choices. was created and is run by 'Advising Communities’, which is a UK registered charity (Charity No. 1061055)


"It’s taken me time to overcome my own doubts and insecurities. It’s been my nature not to want to believe in my own success and that I don’t deserve my success. But that´s something I´ve fought to overcome."


MoreSend us your Quotes

Tips & Hints

  • Self Awareness

    Ask yourself what triggers your feeling of insecurity? Whether it is fear of loss, pain, embarrassment or rejection, find out what it i...
  • Laugh

    Laughter is the best medicine for the human condition. When you laugh your mood lightens up and it is said to help improve the immune s...
  • List your fears

    List your fears and conquer them one by one. Feel insecure when you are presenting? Take up a public speaking class. Fear of talking to...
  • Journal

    Write it down! Use a journal to record the successes you have in life. Record the mini successes you have achieved and refer back to it...
  • Set Goals

    Lack of direction in life can lead to insecurity. You’ll wonder what your purpose is in life and lower your self-esteem. By regularly...
  • More Tips & Hints