Common Signs of Insecurity

Back

Here are some common signs that indicate insecurity:

Defensiveness

Insecure people tend to be very sensitive to critique and respond with defensiveness. They aren’t comfortable enough with themselves to accept that they might be flawed.

A secure person can handle criticism. They’re open to hearing about ways they might improve. If they disagree with the criticism, they don’t try to argue because they’re happy with who they are.

They’re comfortable enough to be themselves, even if other people don’t like it. They realize that they can’t please everyone.

Can’t Enjoy Silence

Some insecure people just can’t deal with silence. They fill every void with meaningless chatter, almost to avoid having to reflect on themselves. The unfortunate consequence is the annoyance of everyone around them, who secretly look for an escape.

A secure person can tolerate, and often enjoys silence. If they are with someone else, they have the ability to let someone else talk without having to interject their own perspective.

Excessive Joking

Another coping mechanism for insecurity is constant joking. While a sense of humour is almost necessary for emotional health, the excessive joker doesn’t seem to know the limits of appropriateness.

It feels good when everyone laughs at your joke, and an insecure person craves this sort of attention. The unfortunate consequence is an uncomfortable environment and insensitivity to others.

Jokes are almost always more funny when they are well-timed and delivered by a person of confidence. Security gives you the ability to be sensitive of others; knowing what they would consider funny and what they would consider offensive.

Self-Promoting

Insecure people tend to talk about themselves constantly, as if they feel like they have to prove themselves. Self-promotion is paramount to over-compensation for doubt.

A confident person doesn’t need to promote himself. His qualities are displayed naturally by the way he lives his life. Besides, he doesn’t need validation from anyone anyway.

Bullying

Insecure people feel threatened by others, and one way to cope with this is to try and squash them. The most threatening person of all to an insecure person is a secure person, because they can sense their power.

Overly Authoritative

Insecure people in positions of power tend to compensate for their lack of confidence by taking out their frustrations on their subordinates. They might issue unfair punishments or orders as a way to prove their authority.

I once had a boss who took joy in screaming at his employees, even for minor offenses. Once, I overheard him speaking to another manager about picking someone to fire for the fun of it. This kind of excessive authoritativeness is an obvious over-compensation for insecurity.

Overly Competitive

Competitiveness is part of a healthy emotional makeup, but over-competitiveness is a sign of a problem. Someone who can’t take losing by making a big emotional display lacks confidence.

A person who is secure with himself wins or loses with grace. Grace has a lot to do with respecting your opponent, and you can only do that if you are first comfortable with yourself.

Materialistic

A very dangerous coping mechanism for insecurity is buying things you can’t afford just to show off. We can all think of people with huge TV’s, fast cars, and every toy known to man; even though they don’t make much money. People like this tend to run up their credit cards and get themselves into big trouble.

A secure person doesn’t need to show off. He doesn’t care what other people think about his possessions.


View as PDF


Back


The Have I Got A Problem website is a free online resource to help people better understand any issues or concerns they may have about mental health or addiction. The website includes resources specifically focused to; general Mental Health, Depression, Stress, Anxiety, Insecurities, Self-harm Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anger Management, Eating Disorders, Coping, general Addiction, Alcohol, Smoking, Gambling, Drugs, Cocaine, Heroin, Marijuana (Cannabis) Ecstasy, PCP, Mephedrone, Ketamine & Crystal Meth.

The site was created to give the public information to help them understand mental health and addiction issues and to assist people in making better informed decisions about their life and personal choices.

www.haveigotaproblem.com was created and is run by 'Advising Communities’, which is a UK registered charity (Charity No. 1061055)

Quotes

"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."

Billy

MoreSend us your Quotes

Tips & Hints

  • Self Awareness

    Ask yourself what triggers your feeling of insecurity? Whether it is fear of loss, pain, embarrassment or rejection, find out what it i...
    More
  • Laugh

    Laughter is the best medicine for the human condition. When you laugh your mood lightens up and it is said to help improve the immune s...
    More
  • List your fears

    List your fears and conquer them one by one. Feel insecure when you are presenting? Take up a public speaking class. Fear of talking to...
    More
  • Journal

    Write it down! Use a journal to record the successes you have in life. Record the mini successes you have achieved and refer back to it...
    More
  • Set Goals

    Lack of direction in life can lead to insecurity. You’ll wonder what your purpose is in life and lower your self-esteem. By regularly...
    More
  • More Tips & Hints